Circus Animal Cookie Clone Failure

When I learned that Mother's Cookies was shutting down, I panicked.
I ran around my house, screaming, with my arms flailing in the air.
Then I mourned. I cried for days. Black circles formed around my eyes, and friends and family kept coming up to me, asking what was wrong.
"Are you okay?" They asked.
"No, no, I'm not. I feel like I've lost a dear friend."

I loved those pink-and-white frosted circus animal cookies, growing up. They were much tastier than regular animal crackers.

When I came to terms that Mother's Cookies were gone forever, I knew I had to clone them.

My first step was buying any remaining bags of cookies at the store, for experimental purposes, and by that, I mean... eating them. I found the bags and turned them around to examine the ingredients:

Sugar, Enriched Flour (Bleached Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Vegetable Oil Shortening (Partially Hydrogenated Palm Kernel, Soybean, Cottonseed and/or Canola Oil), Skim Milk, Corn Starch, Contains 2% or Less of: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Corn Syrup, Salt, Leavening (Baking Soda, Ammonium Bicarbonate), Artificial Flavor, Eggs, Soybean Lecithin, Color (Containing Titanium Dioxide, FD&C Red No. 40 Lake, Red No. 3, Yellow No. 5 and No. 6, Blue No. 1 and No. 2, Red No. 40), Confectioner's Glaze, Carnauba Wax.

Oh.

Come to think of it, these cookies weren't that great after all. I mean, I haven't eaten them in years. I put the bags down, slowly backing away, and then took off sprinting out the door.

Yeah, I can definitely live without these cookies, and their waxy-hydrogenated oil coating. Hydrogenated oil and high fructose corn syrup scare me.

Anyway, I tried cloning them, using good ingredients, but I failed. I made shortbread teddy bears, drizzled them with glaze, and added some delightful sprinkles on top. But as you can see, they don't look the same. They don't taste the same, either. Not that they were bad... I thought they tasted pretty good.

I showed them to my dad.
Quote from Dad: "Those look disgusting."
Thanks, Dad.


But don't worry, Keebler produces frosted animal cookies too, in case you need a quick hydrogenated oil cookie fix.

SO, no recipe today. I leave you with my thoughts...

1. Never feel like you have to comment on here. Often I read blogs, but don't necessarily feel like commenting.

2. I watched Religulous. Has anyone else seen it? Thoughts?

3. Sometimes I drive to work and realize that I've paid absolutely no attention to how I got there.

4. I started reading Twilight, and it's sucked me in. Unfortunately. I wanted so much to hate these books.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some reading to do.